A word, or several, on "Politcal Correctness"

I'm often accused of being very "politically correct." I deliberatly use the word "accused" because it's never been used as a compliment. In fact I've come to cringe at the words "politically correct." So what does it mean? The dictionary is telling me that to be politically correct means, "conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated." Which sounds harmless enough, but what it comes to have mean in our culture is angry, humorless, close-minded and a major obstacle to socializing. Which is ironic, because I think people choose these specific words as a politically correct way of calling me an angry bitch who should really keep her mouth shut.

I told a friend today, after she referred to me as politically correct that I wouldn't call it politically correct, so much as I am "sensitive." She laughed at me and told me, "No, I get it, you're just very aware of how certain things can effect many different types of people." I told her no, it's about how it affects ME, but she wasn't buying it. For example, I was recently subjected to an episode of "The Office," and this particular episode had a character referring to another character as a "faggot." The word was used many times by Steve Corell in a fast-paced monologue (hilarious I'm told) until he confronted said "faggot" and apologized and said, "I'm sorry I called you a faggot, I didn't know you actually WERE a faggot, and perhaps some time I can take you out for a drink and... you can tell me how you can do that to another guy." When I didn't laugh and just said flatly, "that's awful." He assured me that if I knew the characters and watched the show I would laugh. What so few people seem to understand is that when I hear the word "faggot," I see my ex-girlfriend in middle school laying in the dirt being kicked in the stomach by a boy yelling, "FAGGOT!" I can't smile when that image pops up in my head. I don't care what show it's on. I love Scrubs but if they ever referred to someone as a faggot there is no way I could ever get out a laugh when it's hard enough to just let it go enough not to cry and scream and throw shit because the world is fucked up and I don't want to be reminded of it.

But my political correctness extends beyond my sexual orientation, which is even less understood. People get annnoyed at my "hang ups" on the word "retarded." Or on racist jokes. "But I don't MEAN it like that." And that's what people don't understand, my silence and lack of laughter isn't about secretly hating you or judging you, it's about the image in my head of true stories of my friends, of children I've worked with, of the young boy of color beaten with a metal bat the night Obama was elected. Do people not see the connection between words like "magic negro" and the bat against this kid's skull? Why does this image not come up in everyone's head? When people say, "That's so gay," before I can get a thought out my face gets red and my blood pressure shoots through the roof and my heart pounds and I think, "Should I say something?" It's not something I think about. It happens. It impedes my laughter.

But this sensitivity is not something of which I'm ashamed. I think it's the effect of a patriarchal culture that has people disconnecting words from their meanings and reality from their hearts. People are too ashamed to admit when they feel sadness or empathy for the murdered animal they are about to eat, or that that rape joke has them reeling with memories of an event they'd like to forget, that they remember being called "fat" and being embarassed to eat in the cafeteria, or how hard the "special ed. kids" got teased and called "retarded." Ashamed to admit when something hurts.

Yes people have found me dramatic, but I honestly think it's the effect of our cultural machismo that the words "politically correct" have been feminized and made into a fucking insult.

I consider myself a funny person in life, and I've been told by others that I'm funny so it's not totally in my head. I used to hang out mostly with guys, I participated in a prevalantly male sport, I've "walked amongst them" as much as any tomboy could and I have participated in those jokes and comments. But I've also been the butt of those jokes, and over the years have come to realize that my empathy, sensitivity and emotion are incredibly real, importent and essential parts of myself that I am incapable of denying anymore, and that, more importently, I don't care to. I'd be ashamed of myself to ignore these feelings and to deny that when a person tells me a tragic story, or I read one, I feel it and that story becomes part of me and when a joke is made about a similar event that story comes up in me and weighs heavy and I just don't have the urge to laugh. I'm not going to fake it just to make YOU feel more comfortable.

"Politically correct," really means aware, empathetic, strong and outspoken and really, don't let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed about it because it's absolute bullshit. Tell THEM to quit being numb macho assholes. Keep loving, keep fighting.