I Don't Give a Fuck About Your Engagement

I'm not a fan of marriage (never have been) for a lot of reasons. There's the fact that it's patriarchal, that it was founded on women's objectification, that it's a complete melding of church and state, the way it's used to control women's sexuality and then just some basic philosophical ideas that there is something honorable in staying with one person forever. Or the simple fact that for whatever reason it's not working for people anymore (divorce is damn near immanent). But this another post in itself. I do however feel that the whole "equal marriage" issue is an issue of human rights, and if you're going to have marriage as an institution it needs to be for everyone. duh. You know all that I'm sure. Everyone is entitled to their own choices and opinions on this and one's choice to get married is not harming me in anyway.

BUT what really pisses me off is this: I had my first day of Improv. class today and one of the first exercises was a "get to know you game" which is like musical chairs but the odd one out has to say something about themselves and everyone who has that in common with them stands up. One young woman stood up proudly and said "I'm engaged!" and another proud woman stood up and the whole class clapped and hooted and hollered for them. WTF?! Both of these women are great people as far as I can tell, and I don't mean to bash on them at all, but using them as an example let me say this, aside from the fact that were I engaged it would make me a criminal, WHO THE FUCK CARES??!!

I keep getting notices on my facebook newsfeed about my straight 22-25 year old friends getting engaged and married. Shouldn't this be something between partners? And what's all the pride about? Yes, having a stable, healthy, long-term relationship is an accomplishment, but one's decision to make that legal (or official in the "eyes of god" *eye roll*) has no direct correlation to the quality of that relationship. The decision to get married in and of itself is not an accomplishment, it's a legal agreement and romantic/spiritual symbol for the PARTNERS INVOLVED. Why is it socially acceptable, in fact encouraged, to brag about engagements? People don't generally BRAG about how healthy their relationships are, how great their sex is, how they've gotten through fights or any other personal information like that, why engagement?

Especially because this bragging is in regard to something ILLEGAL to a HUGE portion of the population!!!! Why is there no sensitivity to this issue? I got an invite to a wedding shower from an old friend of mine, okay thoughtful I guess, but wouldn't you feel a little embarassed? Like if "interacial" marriage were still illegal, would you invite interracial couples to buy you presents for your white-white wedding shower? Because if it were ME, sorry to JUDGE, but I would say "Wow, this institution is really exclusive! Why do I want to be a part of such a fucked up institution???"

But people are NOT asking themselves that question - they're posting pictures of their weddings, their rings, their showers on the newsfeed and inviting me to buy them presents. Which I'll do.

So in conclusion of this rant, I not impressed by your ability to say "yes" or "pop the question," nor am I impressed with your ability to throw a party, nor the acquisition the liscense you are legally entitled to. Congrats on being in love, if that is in fact the case, I wish you the best. But I don't give a FUCK about your engagement.